automatic paper dispensers

in the past year or so, automatic paper towel dispensers were invented, mainly for use in public restrooms.

At our workplace, the motivation for switching to automatic paper towel dispensers were touted as helping to “go green”, the new term for environmental friendliness. I suspect that it had more to do with cost-cutting as i imagine that they theoretically save the company money by decreasing paper towel use, or else the company would have bought all of us Hybrids or something.

But that’s besides the point. As i was thinking about the phenomenon of the automatic paper towel dispenser the other day, i thought about the next logical and brilliant step to take: automatic toilet paper dispensers. As opposed to having an individual dip into the toilet paper roll for whatever they’re worth, hit a button and it rations out the amount that is theoretically all you need to wipe. Maybe there’d have to be two buttons, one for “small amount” versus one for “large” amount to cover various needs.

Which sounds ridiculous, but so do automatic paper towel dispensers to me, even after all this time. Maybe we need to take cues from Demolition Man and figure out how to use the three seashells.

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